Have we noticed how many of the competitions that frame a person's life are wholly imaginary? In truth there is no competition here for who has the best life, there is no race. The mistaken convictions that one is involved in a competition exaggerate one's place in the world, I think. It is taking what happens, not exactly to centre on you, but definitely involving you much more extensively than it actually does - while the truth is that very little on what happens has anything whatever to do with any given individual. To think otherwise is to overestimate one's place in universe.

B.K put it in plain words, so wonderfully.

http://reposeinthee.blogspot.com/2006/07/life-as-competition.html

(Thanks A.K for the translation.)

posted by Graciana@Home at 5:58 pm

Paul said, rejoice with them that do rejoice, weep with them that do weep. The cold truth is ordinarily, we do not find happiness of every kind infectious, or unhappiness of every kind grievous. With some who are doing well, sometimes we are simply indifferent to their flourishing. We would like to be happy, however a certain sourness afflicts us. Then, a darker reaction too. Not only do our hearts not leap, they positively sink. =S Why is that?

By a special order =P, these are books I am currently reading.
1. Classical Architecture: The Poetics of Order, A. Tzonis, L. Lefaivre
2. Great Singers on the Art of Singing, H.Brower, J.F.Cookie
3. Knowing God, JI Packer

posted by Graciana@Home at 4:31 pm

Thanks to A.A for the article. =)

'Teach me who you are'
by John Fischer

“Where can we have the intimate conversations that keep all of us from each other? Is it possible that we can be a safe place for individuals to just talk? What we really want to say to people is: 'I care about you. You are worth fighting for. Please teach me who you are.'” — Becky Kuhn

Becky Kuhn is a physician who works with HIV-positive individuals, and her statement is part of an awareness of HIV/AIDS that Kay Warren is trying to create among purpose driven churches as executive director of Saddleback's HIV/AIDS Initiative. Kay's goal is to make the church a safe place to talk about HIV/AIDS. She knows that's a tough assignment.

“As you begin to talk about HIV, remember the important question is not how someone got HIV,” Kay says. “The fact is many have it. The important question is: 'How can we serve those who have HIV?'”

If we could just get the impact of Becky's statement: Teach me who you are, we would all embark on a wealth of learning not only among people living with HIV, but in all our relationships.

What I'm thinking about here is having an attitude of learning from every individual I come across. It's ultimately a way of serving people. Think about it. If I come to you with the attitude, “Teach me who you are,” what does that say about you and me? It says that I don't fully know who you are. You exist outside my knowledge and experience of people. You could very well be outside my comfort zone. Most of all, you are different, and that poses a challenge to me. I can't assume that you are like me. Coming to know you may change the way I think. What if I find out you exist outside my categories of people? What if I find out that I actually like you when I am not supposed to based on social or religious prejudices? What am I going to do then? It puts me in a very vulnerable place to ask you to teach me about who you are.

To say: “Teach me who you are” automatically makes me a learner. I'm not only willing to be exposed to you; I want to learn from you. I want to sit at your feet. I want you to tell me what your life is like. I want to know what the world looks like to you, what I look like to you. What is it like standing inside your shoes?

How about trying it today? If we walked around with the attitude: “Teach me who you are,” even to those we think we know well, I bet we'd all be in for a big surprise.

posted by Graciana@Home at 3:51 pm

Miscommunication is rife.

Often times we encounter seemingly unresolvable disputes with people we least expect to. Why must this be so? People assume. Assumption renders speculations into reality. Presumption is worse, it creates 'truth' out of mistruths or even the absence of truth. I detest assuming and presuming. Unfortunately humans assume and presume on a rather regular basis. When there is silence, our actions speak the loudest, or at least, they appear to. We get hurt and sulk and fume and plot and complain and become suspicious. A vicious cycle ensues. Is it so hard to talk? Is it so hard to clarify? Is it so hard to put aside your personal pride and prejudice, and to surrender your self-will so as to be restored to your friend, your brother, your sister? Why do we persist in being indignant to each other, with our deliberate silence?

posted by Graciana@Home at 3:55 pm

posted by Graciana@Home at 3:12 pm

posted by Graciana@Home at 7:43 pm

C.S. Lewis says companionship becomes friendship when they see the ‘same truth’. A friend is the other self, a self that serves as mirror of the soul. Friends need not share all of each other’s traits or values, complimentary ones can be just as revealing. Privileged role of friends in self-knowledge invites further self-examination. Intimate self-disclosure enables friends to gain better insight to themselves.

I always regard work of fiction, or philosophy, or psychology as friends, really. C.S Lewis too notes that ‘the chief value of literature is that it satisfies our desire to see with other’s eyes, to imagine with other’s imagination, to feel with other’s heart, to become these other selves.’ These works of art have reflected my values and perspectives, thereby allowing me to see myself in vivid and unexpected ways. They can portray values that complement and challenge my own, inviting me to examine myself, sometimes in quite dramatic and unpredictable fashion. Friendship, provides that continual self-awareness, self-examination, that comes from active communication and interaction with people who share a life. That is why communication of friendship, more than any other, ‘maketh daylight in the understanding, out of darkness and confusion of thoughts’, says Bacon. When we meet someone who shares our values, who responds to the world as we do, and responds to us in consonance with our self-concept, we perceive ourselves reflected in that person, and achieve a more vivid sense of ourselves. Friendship increases our knowledge of others through our identification of one another. Together learn to look at things, from different points of view, to understand and feel in new ways, and thus realize the immense potentiality for different forms of experience. Indeed literature offers more opportunity of becoming ‘other selves’ than friendship does, but once again, friendship offers something literature cannot; friends are not just objects of contemplation, or analysis, but other selves who interact with us, responding to us, and requiring us to respond to them in appropriate ways.

Friendship is the least jealous, shunning the exclusivity of eros. (C.S.Lewis) No one person can bring out all the facets of a person's character: to see my friend, in all her/his complexity, I need to see her/him through other friends as well.

http://www.boundless.org/1999/departments/beyond_buddies/a0000051.html
This is an article on friendship. A.K asked for my opinion. >.<>

posted by Graciana@Home at 4:31 pm

Just watched Malena. Sight of outstanding beauty (Monica Belluci), victim of her own beauty? Menacing to the same sex, intimidating to those of opposite. Men are guilty of lust, women of vicious gossip and a little more than envy. And Malena, ‘that the Scordia woman committed no other crime, than that of being ill-fated alone, and beautiful..' She was beautiful, harshly misjudged, entirely in agreement with the role of seductive, available Eve. Also her peculiar power: the downcast eyes which rarely looked up, not talking much, seen to be mostly walking, yet very affective presence and mysterious charm. And false sham morality of Catholic society at odds with itself. The hatred of women mob made me think of the stoning of Mary Magdalene. Wonderfully crafted, Eros of the youth Renato was beautiful. The scenes in Sicily, Italy too. =)

(I am still haunted by D.T’s awful remark ='( Beauty is a curse on the world, it keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are.)

posted by Graciana@Home at 5:59 pm

A.K gave me this article to read (http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001302.cfm).

I think it is essential to adopt some fundamental, simple and unexceptionable principles – universal ones: In all, be true to yourself, be truthful to others. Understand the laws of bonding: laws of repellent, laws of attraction. With same gender, more often than not, we repel each other, even with effort. With opposite gender, we always attract each other, even without effort. I may know the way girls think, do not anticipate. I may know the way guys think, do not manipulate. With both, do not play games. Strive to be transparent, to be intimate with same gender. With opposite, be thoughtful, honorable and honoring. Respect both. With same gender, bonded in faith can be mighty-stronger than bonded in blood. With opposite, bonded in faith is NEVER the same with bonded in blood. With same gender, may it be face to face. With opposite, it must be side by side. With both, it is for growth and service.

In presenting yourself, have integrity, respect yourself and respect others. Under sunlight of the beach, or the dimness of candlelight dinner, act accordingly. I appreciate corporeal tangible beauty, one with forms, with colours, with rhythms. I can't help it, it is the aesthetics in me. So I pursue to learn the principles of universal beauty: one that is honest and fair, and with certain order. This is not poor one, even without decoration, it is not one which is poor even under the richest decoration.

posted by Graciana@Home at 4:04 am

"Lord, take me, for I cannot give myself to Thee; and when Thou hast me, keep me, for I cannot keep myself; and save me in spite of myself."

posted by Graciana@Home at 12:52 pm

Music has to be rescued from reading notes decorum, it has to be located in the heart and in the head. In the heart, most of all, as a proof of love. To love what is appropriate, aware, inventive, varied. Reason is guide, and nothing more. Reason is the basis of the creation, not in itself the end of it. Besides the structure, unity, and purpose, have a little delight, some fantasy and perhaps playfulness. Music must instruct as well as please. Ah yes, and it's been the (dreary) study of classical plaster cast that has dulled my appreciation of the Greeks and Romans. Just as learning doctrines tarnished the brilliance of Scriptures. =P

posted by Graciana@Home at 4:00 pm

posted by Graciana@Home at 3:33 pm

Many and grave are my infirmities. Many and grave. But in Jesus is there solid hope for me, with good reason. I must be vigorously and untiringly mindful of my ransom.

I purchased 'Towards a new architecture' unthinkingly, bought it for no good reason. Never did I imagine it could be such a brilliant composition. Things often appear coincidental. Appearance, though, is not reality, often the obvious is not the solution. Life is a mystery. =)

In everything are goodwill, hard work, and faith.

posted by Graciana@Home at 11:57 pm

I’ve got 20(?) years ahead of me to achieve what I am beginning to sketch out. My concept of the art of building is based on the fundamentals, all that my insufficient (or incomplete) resources have so far allowed me to master. NUS killed off my interest in form as the main component in architecture. Now as I arrived in my fourth year I only felt great emptiness inside me and I said to myself, ‘Poor thing, you don’t know anything yet, and worse still, you don’t know what it is that you don’t know.’ That was what caused me such bitter anxiety. Who should I ask? My spirit rebelled every so often, from time to time. If consulting the past is next step, I will choose the most impassioned fighters: the builders of Romanesque period, and learn to understand from them. Late study and reflection have persuaded me that architecture is not simply about harmony of form, but… something else… but what? I wasn’t sure.

I have made so many mistakes, and now I realized with horror just how many gaps there are in my knowledge of architecture. With horror and joy, because at last I realized what is worthwhile. I’ve been observing concrete on many construction sites, its composition, and the revolutionary forms that it demands. They seemed to cry out to me: logic, truth, away with dreams of the art of the past. An architect must have a logical brain in his head, he needs to be wary of the superficial effects, he must be a scientist with a heart, an artist and a scholar. The power is there I know, but it needs to be developed in the direction that I, perhaps unconsciously (because today I seem to deny my young life) was developing it here and on my journey, in my lonely years here. I say that this small success is premature, ruin is nigh. We should not build on sand.

posted by Graciana@Home at 1:55 pm